More than my cookies

Most of my blogs come from the male perspective, and I try to talk about social and political issues under the theme of renaissance and revolution.  Had a discussion that elicited strong emotions about relationships, I was chided that all that history and the politics of the day was interesting and all that, but what was I doing to encourage better relationships between men and women.  So that it isn’t from my chauvinistic and egotistic perspective, I asked her for a message in her own words.  Men and women seem to speak in two different languages, but she was right, she’s more than just her cookies.  Read her thoughts below.


NottHead (


Why is the self-esteem of some women tied to how quickly a guy wants to bed them?  Everywhere you look there are pictures of desirable women.  The advertising industry uses attractive women to sell products; but does that lead women to a place of selling themselves? 

Women have long known how to use their attractive features to get what they want or even get ahead.  Lately it seems that is all we know.  When a guy doesn’t show an immediate interest in bedding a woman, she becomes insecure and starts wondering what could be wrong with her.  As if that’s all she has to offer.  Women who seemingly have it all together (education, career, home, church) can still be reduced to tears at the thought of rejection in a relationship.



Being romanced has seemingly become a thing of the past.  What about how much time he spends listening to you, learning about you and sharing experiences with you?  We go from dinner, to a second date, to sex.  Once you cross that line, it becomes like a new toy that you can’t wait to play with each day.  Suddenly, outside of the bedroom your relationship comes to a crawl.

Not to worry, there are lots of guys out there who know how to treat a lady.  We just have to be willing to receive it, and understand that we are more than our sexual selves.  Know that a real relationship takes time, maturity, patience and understanding.  It probably won’t play out like your favorite love story, but it is definitely worth waiting for.  I want women to open their eyes and stop selling themselves short.  I want men to understand that each woman has value. I am more than just my cookies.  Treat each woman like that.


Thanks NottHead for giving me a platform for my words to raise consciousness on male – female relationships.  Men and women definitely see things in a different light.


3 thoughts on “More than my cookies

  1. Black Girl Lost…

    Quick to hop in bed with any man that looked her way, she only yearned for the attention that her father never gave, and I tried to sit back and percieve, how this women could be decieved, for every dude she was with, would always hit it and leave. And now her reputation is going down, cause everybody in and around town, knows how she gets down. See, she’s 15 with one daughter, but 12 is when she had her, with no male figure around to support her or her daughter, she turned to drugs and prostitution. The beginning of her life quickly became her end, for it was her life that she was loosing. She tried to commit suicide when she gave up on her hopes and dreams, she choose trickin as a scheme, in this world full of hopes and dreams. Now she carries a heavy burden on her shoulders, so she constantly walks with her head down, and you know, dudes will be dudes, they just kept pulling her down. See I always hoped that she would come around, but I wasn’t ready for when she did. See I tried to put a little love in her heart and some knowledge in her head, but instead, she propositioned me with sex, and I did what I did. Yeah I know I was wrong right, but see I still tried to make my wrong’s right. Close to my heart is where I held her, and these arms they, embraced her tight. And as we slowly drifted apart, I looked her in her eyes, and to her surprise…or maybe it was my demise, I told her, “You don’t have to go and be a hoe!” Ya see, she instantly fell in love with me, but I had to let her go, and even though, It was some years ago, I carry her burden with me till this day, for showing her that someone could actually care. Two weeks later, her body was found in a motel room in Delaware, with a letter that read…If only he cared

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