The costs of dating you

Sisters Stop Asking Sisters, Im A Black Man Just Ask Me

Let’s be realistic! How much does a brotha have to be able to afford to maintain a relationship with you? Now, it’s always easy for a brotha who has it going on financially to dictate what another brotha should have the funds for. But the truth is, the well-to-do brotha make up a very small fraction of society and depending on your geographic location, that portion can be minuscule. So just how “fat” should the average brotha’s wallet be? What’s the compromise?

Can not afford
You Can't Afford Me!

Excerpt from book – page 12:

“Many black women are single due to economics. You have a large portion of sistahs that place a monetary value on everything. A man’s worth is determined by the amount of money he makes, how much he’s spending, and what kind of car he’s driving. This sistah has no conversation for the brother trying, even if he isn’t looking to dog her out. Little does she know, this sistah has already eliminated ninety percent of her options.”


Is economics to blame for so many single sistah’s?

What are our options:

If you eliminate the brotha’s that are currently incarcerated, that’s about 750,000. Do away with the black men that you know are gay, and women should remove married men from their dating pool also. Women, in addition eradicate a huge amount of potentials if they refuse to date outside of their race or culture, keeping in mind the fact that brotha’s frequently date outside of their race. Therefore, black women have to compete with Asian, Hispanic and white women too. Now, look at what you’re left to choose from.

Therefore you have to ask yourself; are finances still going to be a major factor regarding looking for love and having a lasting relationship?

Some Black women are caught in the MATRIX. We read too many books and watch a great deal television shows and movies that are geared towards white women and how love and relationships work for them.

Fact or excuse:

  • Since the passing of the Emancipation Proclamation, there have been more jobs available for black females than black males.
  • A black man is the last to get hired and the first to get fired.
  • A black male is more likely to be discriminated against than the black female.
Terrie Lynn
Terrie Lynn

Now how can we become fixated on finance when we’re not dealing with the same type man?

For starters; the male is believed to be trying to woo the female, so he is definitely required to pay for the first 2 or 3 dates. If he can’t afford that he shouldn’t bother to step to a female, until he gets his ish together. (Agree or Disagree?)

Later, once the two of you have determined that this will be a serious, committed relationship then you can begin a 50/50 split, “that’s seems fair, you think?” After all, he has bills to pay too. He may have monthly child support payments, a car note, car insurance, rent, a student loan to repay, and/or strip club donations, etc.

Okay, let’s change that to 60/40, is that more doable?

What about the sistah that really likes the guy but, she makes considerably more than he does? Is it cool for the sistah to pick up the larger tabs or expenses? Should the two of them only go places and only do things which he can afford? Will that cause the sistah to feel she’s lowering her standards? Can a man handle a long term relationship with a sistah that is in a better financial situation without an ego or animosity kicking in? And can females handle making more money than her man without trying to punk or belittle him? This is where relationships can become tricky.

A Trip

Terrie Lynn for NottHeads – Chokkklit Shop


2 thoughts on “The costs of dating you

  1. good molly Writings On The Wall , i read your blog , this a nice blog and perfect. Good for everyone. bulk and Women and Men content. i will visit to read and comment your site.

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